One thing I hate to be is predictable, and anyway my opinions (like a lot of people’s) are never fixed, they change over time. The most asked question is obviously “What inspired you to become a burlesque artist?” One day I can be predictable, “It’s in the blood, my Gran did it back in the 1930s”, another time it’ll be left-field, “Kenny G, definitely”. It’s a game to me, not to be taken seriously. Today I’ll go for the blindingly obvious, Gypsy Rose Lee.

Now if you say the word burlesque to most people today you get at best maybe two names mentioned, and as she’s a competitor you’ll never hear me say the stage name of the ex-Mrs Marilyn Manson. The other is Gypsy Rose Lee, who was born Elle June Hovick in Seattle in 1911. This was before being renamed for the first time when her sister was born and Elle’s name was transferred. Her mother Rose was very generous and gave her the overly familiar name Rose Louise. So as to avoid confusion we’ll stick to the girls middle names for the rest of this post.

Their parents eventually divorced so Louise and June helped out by going into vaudeville, with June the more talented of the two thanks to her singing and dancing skills. When June eloped, taking the more obvious talent pool with her, Rose Louise had to turn to other avenues. What she resorted to was American burlesque, which by this time mainly involved comedians telling lewd jokes and striptease. Louise’s gift was to combine these two elements, via her new persona of Gypsy Rose Lee, something I’ve very much taken to heart and made my own. Her witty humour onstage was well thought of and her strip style was unique. Like many things in life it got jumpstarted by accident, in this case a weakened shoulder strap, which brought down to the ground a gown she was wearing. The way Louise tried to shield herself as a result was incorporated into her act after she saw the initial reaction.

Every burlesque dancer worth her salt, has taken a cue from Gypsy Rose Lee, including the now very famous Dita Von Teese.

What I love about Louise is the way she pursued a variety of opportunities. She didn’t just limit herself to burlesque she also went out to Hollywood to act in films, and during the 1950s she even had her own TV show. However it was writing that most pre-occupied her, another thing I share with her. Louise was blessed with a lively mind and must have gained inspiration and advice from talents such as W.H. Auden, Carson McCullers and Paul Bowles, who she shared 7 Middagh House (Brooklyn) with during 1940-41. It was here that she wrote the first of her two novels, ‘The G-string Murders’ (1941). I have to admit I can’t quite say the same of my flat mates when it comes to spurring me on. Louise’s other literary works include a play called ‘Naked Genius’ (1943) and her memoirs Gypsy (1957), which was turned into the very successful musical of the same name. When she died in 1970 she’d packed a hell of a lot into her life and if I’m able to achieve just a small proportion I’ll be happy. As I warned you earlier though, you better not take my word at face value.

This means that all the underground meetings can take place right in your bedroom. After all, can there be a better place for trying out new things about sex other than the bedroom? Of course, this is also creating a very big problem for those who are interested in the risqué aspects of sex. There is very little left in the concept of sex that was actually shock people today. There was a time when the idea of going French was considered scandalous.

Today, you will probably get hundreds and thousands of images and even more videos of the so-called French position in all its glory by just a few click of your mouse. While this may seem convenient and comfortable at first, it is actually going to reduce your sensitivity to these exciting aspects of sex that were buried underground in the past.

Of course, there are many who believe that porn is the ultimate enemy of real enjoyment of sex. It reduces the act into a commercial enterprise and tries to dominate the senses instead of being dominated by the same. This is probably the reason why the barriers that constrained sexual relations have broken down and more and more people are experimenting with concepts and options like friends with benefits. This concept would not have survived a decade ago despite the fact that it would have appealed to a large number of people. Today, it survives solely because of the internet.

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So what is it about a man that makes them think that all of us women are into big hunky muscles? Sure some girls out there must like the sight of a huge man, whose arms are thicker than her waist, but I for one think it is so not sexy. Give me a cute funny guy with a goofy dress sense and I will be happy to give him a shot.

I am obviously not trying to suggest that a finely toned athletic guy is not a turn on, but there is something about the Alpha male that spends all his time down at the gym to become as big as humanly possible absolutely repulsive. There are two parts to it really. Firstly the physical look of someone who has pumped so much iron that they no longer look in proportion to the rest of us is not what I would personally go for. But secondly and most importantly for me, it is the personality traits that usually go with this type of guy (and I’m not trying to offend anyone here).

They are usually extremely macho men, who think that all other men want to be them, and that they are god’s gift to women. I have been approached many times by guys like this, and they always seem to be so surprised when they get the knock back that many of them then start throwing insults my way or acting the big guy to their mates in he corner of the room and mocking me.

It seems like spending so much time in the gym in front of the mirror surrounded by other similarly driven men, their perception of themselves is different to everyone else’s. Now I’m not one of those women who will only date one particular type of guy, but this is one type that I definitely won’t.

It seems like spending so much time in the gym in front of the mirror surrounded by other similarly driven men, their perception of themselves is different to everyone else’s. Now I’m not one of those women who will only date one particular type of guy, but this is one type that I definitely won’t.

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For some sex is all about the intimacy, love and the connection between two soul mates. For others sex is all about the physical act, the pure pleasure it brings you and last but not least the prestige. I actually know a guy who has slept with more than 600 women. I realise that this number is very impressive, but you should see how this guy carries himself around town. He thinks that he owns everything and that he can get down with any woman he wants. And I don’t want to sound silly but I think that he actually can. Nevertheless, the same guy told me that for him, sex is just a physical exercise and a very pleasant way to boost his self-esteem. He doesn’t care about love or any of that nonsense, all he cares about is the score. I was very curious how he has managed to sleep with so many women, so one day I just asked him. The the key is that you can find a London escort agency on every corner, he said. What he meant by that is that at least half of his sexual acts were actually paid for. But he is not ashamed by that. In fact, he argues that it is cheaper and much easier to pay a prostitute than to go out with a girl on a few dates before she actually allows you to jump into her pants. So the basic lesson here is that if you are just interested in having a one night sex marathon the best thing you can do is to go out and find yourself a decent looking hooker.

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I am not going to reveal my favourite bar, but I will say that there are a group of people who strip and work for London Escort Agency, who regularly go out after work, to have a quiet cocktail, and talk about the trade. We have our favourite bars and pubs and we get the privilege of free drinks and lock ins for looking too beautiful. Recently one of my all time favourite bartenders came to see my show. I was slightly surprised as I knew he was married, but lo and behold, there was his drop dead gorgeous wife sitting right there next to him. This is the man who invented the best cocktail in the industry: the pussy galore and I had no choice but to get right up in his face and give him the full treatment. Its my get the extra pound trick of cleaning the spectacles of the spectator with my sparkly g string. I was a bit worried about the missus, but, he can up with a fiver in his hand. You see, we in the industry always tip well, and he was clearly obligated! Anyway, not two minutes later the missus comes up with a tenner and cops a sneaky feel as she is stuffing it into my purple spangled love triangle. No wonder the man is such a genius when it comes to drinks that the ladies will love. He has ample inspiration. As for the ingredients to the killer cocktail? They are coming soon…

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Well, it is time to report on the next stage of my adventures in the world of burlesque. My friend Madame Mirabeau found herself suddenly without a partner for a show in London last week. She thought of me and gave me a ring. My boyfriend had only just blown me out for our teatime / evening date, so I happened to be free. Lucky for some, for I gave the performance of a lifetime for the fortuitous punters who were in her club at the time.

Mirabeau and I dressed in the same costumes: black leather corsets, panties, and neckties. We added feathers attached to hair dresses, black net stockings with garters, and, of course, red spike high heel shoes.

I love my high-heeled shoes and I spend hours in queues for top name labels waiting for sale items or other bargains. Nothing makes me feel sexier – or makes my male friends feel more like sex – than new, high heel shoes matching my current outfit, or perhaps my lack of outfit!

So Mirabeau and I were all ready for our entrance onto the stage, with the music playing and the lights set at a dramatic but romantic level. Then what happened? Mirabeau mis-stepped and twisted her ankle!

Always a professional (well, at least when it comes to the stage), Mirabeau swallowed her scream but managed to gesture to us that she was badly hurt. Pretending it was part of the show, we carried her off-stage, then rescued the event by ringing a London escort agency and booking a stand-in. All stand up for the last minute help!

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The most common misconception is that those of us who love to dance are in the game so to speak. While of course, I have friends who make their living doing a lot more than taking their clothes off, I personally prefer to keep my work to dancing and enjoy a stable of friends with benefits. It can be a bit tricky be a burlesque dancer and having a boy friend. most of my mates who are in relationships are married. Boy friends tend to get jealous, husbands seem happy and proud. Maybe it is that primitive sense of ownership. I don’t really know, I am just happy as I am. My friends will often come to see me dance, and bring their mates. It has that extra special naughty thrill when I dance for them, as I know I am likely to get extra large tips, and they will be tortured and my friend will enjoy the social status as the one who bags the burlesque dancer. I have a posse of girls that like to come watch me too, and I love to put on the show for them. It really is just the modern way of doing things isn’t it? The bisexual women, tend to lower the tidal wave of male testosterone in the club and it ends up being a bit more fun, and a whole lost sexier. The women also tend to appreciate the art of the burlesque dance more than the men and don’t just wait for the final ta da

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